do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
