What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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