well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
