Sponge bath it is.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
