New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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