this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
