You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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