She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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