You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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