return my video game
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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