Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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