What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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