Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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