Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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