her vagina looked like bernie madoff
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
