i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
