I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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