I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You can't motorboat a personality
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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