He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
