i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Damn victory sex feels great
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
