So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
