If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
