Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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