i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
