Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
