just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
