How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
