I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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