Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
