I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
