Sry I called you an 8
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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