Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
