its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
