Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
