why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
