hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
