did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
