how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
