You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
