haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
