Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
