Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
