she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
