I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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