the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Pants are for mortals
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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