Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
