I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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