there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
