I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
