quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
