Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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